DYSMORPHIC DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT

Dysmorphic and its protagonist Aaron were born out of my own dark feelings. The body dysmorphia that makes it impossible for Aaron to put himself out there—and the feelings of inadequacy and anxiety that come with it—are things that I have experienced for most of my life. Thankfully, things have been better for many years, but I remember a time when I was sobbing in my car because I didn’t want to live anymore if I had to look the way that I do.

Although most people may not have clinical body dysmorphia, most people HAVE experienced some degree of insecurity and self-consciousness about their appearance. So although Aaron’s feelings are extreme (and many people DO feel them as intensely as he does), I think that just about everyone can relate to what he’s going through on some level.

This is a story that needs to be told because we NEVER see it. There are some films that deal with eating disorders, but that is very different from body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is a misnomer—although it can be about the body, it is mostly about the face. It is a deep-seated, irrational belief that one’s face is ugly. And the above-mentioned stories about eating disorders are almost always about women. Which is great, and those stories absolutely need to be told. But in society, we almost never talk about men struggling with body dysmorphia—and when we do talk about it, it’s often romanticized or called “vanity.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Speaking from personal experience, I can say that it is a horribly painful mental illness—a real-life horror film. It feels like you’re wrestling with a demon and you so badly wish you could just be someone else, but in the midst of it, there is no hope of escape or change. Others don’t understand what it is, and they say you’re just being too fussy about your appearance.

That is why I need to tell this story. It is the kind of film that I wish I had seen when I was younger. There are many, many people out there who can relate to Aaron’s feelings, at least on some level. It is my hope that when they see Aaron’s struggles represented on screen, that they know that others are going through the same thing, and that they feel less alone.

—Grant Swanson, director/writer